(IFS) Parts Work in therapy & EMDR— How Core Beliefs Shift in Therapy
Core Beliefs, Agency, and Why Change Feels Hard
Have you ever felt like intellectually you know what’s right for you and what’s not, but emotionally it’s a struggle for you to change patterns and do what’s in your best interest.
That’s because your body still responds to and makes decisions from your original core belief that used to work earlier when you were a child and did not have much agency. But now that you are an adult these patterns based on the old core belief are not working any more.
With the combination of EMDR and parts work in therapy we work with the original core beliefs and identify what belief fits now according to your here and now, also, we work with the memories or experiences that have been holding the original beliefs in place. The behavior changes happen because of shifts in the core belief and not because of you trying to convince yourself to make a different decision.
There are different approaches to doing parts work in therapy. Internal Family System and Ego States work are a few of those approaches. I am trained in Internal Family Systems.
Here is a peek into my approach to parts work EMDR.
What Is Parts Work in Therapy?
According to parts work we all have different parts that we access based on the occasion. Sometimes these parts just show up and we find ourselves reacting in a way that we don’t understand
Adult Parts and Everyday Roles
We all have different parts within us. For example:
- Parent part – shows up when you are taking care of your kids or doing other responsible things with patience and compassion
- Boss lady part – the part that shows up to take care of busines
Fun-loving, carefree part – shows up when you are with your friends and family, a mix of your kid part and adult part having fun responsibly.
Kid Parts — Playful, Curious, and Vulnerable
There are kid parts that show up from time to time.
- You might think, “I enjoy this video game more than my kids do.”
- You might get as excited about eating chocolate ice cream cones as your niece does.
- You might feel curious about the colorful bird in your backyard.
These are the playful, vulnerable, curious kid parts.
When Younger Parts Take the Driver’s Seat
There are times when adult parts don’t show up in adult life. Instead, younger wounded parts take over.
- A middle school part might show up, feeling guilt, shame, and fear mixed with anger at being misunderstood — making it hard to sit through a one-on-one meeting with your manager.
Or, when your boss suddenly schedules a meeting, you notice yourself worrying about being in trouble. That anxiety may be a younger part showing up scared and helpless.
Protectors, Deep-Rooted Beliefs, and Resistance
There are other parts that are protectors, or our deep-rooted beliefs developed over time.
- These protectors kept us safe as children when we had little choice.
- As adults, they are less effective because our circumstances and needs have changed.
When you feel stuck and ready to change but something holds you back, it may be a protector part. You feel:
- Frustrated
- Depressed
Unable to move forward
Examples of Protective Core Beliefs
Beliefs that once protected you but now keep you stuck might include:
- “If I set a boundary, I’ll be abandoned.”
- “Failure means rejection — only perfection is acceptable.”
- “I cannot trust anyone” — leading to isolation in friendships, relationships, or even at work.
How Are Wounded Parts and Protectors Formed?
As kids we are vulnerable, curious, playful, creative, expressive about our needs, and open with emotions like anger, sadness, and happiness.
- When caregivers respond consistently, we trust the world is safe and develop secure attachment.
- When caregiving is inconsistent and unpredictable, we learn to:
- Focus on caregivers’ needs while ignoring our own
- Minimize our needs to avoid abandonment
- Seek attention through anger or tantrums, then feel guilt and shame
These experiences rupture our attachment patterns and result in insecure attachment.
Wounded Parts and Protectors
- Parts that experienced abandonment and neglect become wounded parts.
- The belief systems formed become protectors, such as:
- “I cannot ask for help; I have to do everything on my own.”
- “I cannot trust anyone to be there for me.”
Parts Work EMDR — How We Work Together
I use Parts work, EMDR, mindfulness, and self-compassion in combination in therapy.
This approach is used to help with:
- Relationship trauma
- Relationship issues for individuals
- People pleasing
- Anxiety and depression (alongside CBT)
Steps in the Process
Everyone’s process looks a little different, and we’ll always move at a pace that feels safe and supportive for you.
Learning to identify feelings
We begin by reconnecting you with your physical sensations and the messages they carry. You’ll learn to notice where feelings show up in your body and what they’re trying to communicate.
Developing regulation tools
Next, we build emotional regulation skills through grounding and mindfulness techniques. Over time, you’ll become more comfortable sitting with emotions as they arise—even the uncomfortable ones.
Identifying your parts (IFS)
As we talk about your life, we’ll begin identifying the different parts of you and how they show up in your body. We use tools like parts mapping to help you recognize and understand them, so you can build awareness and compassion for each one.
Exploring memories and feelings (EMDR)
Together, we make a list of triggering memories or feelings. With C-PTSD or childhood neglect, you may not have one clear memory—often it’s more about the emotions you carried, like loneliness or feeling on edge. These feelings guide us toward what needs attention.
Building inner resources
We also work on developing Self energy—your natural inner strength and compassion. This self-support allows you to process pain and approach your wounded and protective parts with curiosity rather than judgment.
Working with protectors (IFS)
Protectors are the parts that keep you safe. We take time to befriend them, understand their role, and gently gain their cooperation so we can reach the wounded parts carrying deep burdens and negative beliefs.
Reprocessing with EMDR
Using bilateral stimulation, we reprocess traumatic memories and the feelings held by your wounded parts. This helps release the intensity of the memory and create new meaning.
Inviting in new beliefs
Once desensitization is complete and the wounded part is unburdened, we invite in a new, positive belief about yourself—one that feels true and empowering.
Integration and next steps
We close each session with integration. Sometimes, something still feels unfinished, and we follow that thread into the next session. If you feel resolved, we move on to the next part or memory ready for healing.
Goal of Parts Work in Therapy
The goal of parts work in therapy is to:
- Help all parts support each other
- Strengthen the authentic self (adult parts)
- Form self to part connection so that you can guide your own parts.
- Reprocess and unburden old wounds, so that these wounds don’t trigger your nervous system anymore.
If my approach in therapy resonates with you then please drop me a line and I will be happy to chat with you to see if we are a good fit.
FAQ: Parts Work EMDR
Many people are curious about what therapy actually looks like and how specific approaches can help. Below are some common questions about using parts work and EMDR together, two powerful modalities I use to support healing from trauma, anxiety, and relationship struggles.
What is parts work in therapy?
Parts work, also known as Internal Family Systems (IFS), is a way of understanding how different “parts” of you—such as kid parts, adult parts, protectors, and wounded parts—show up in different situations and influence your emotions and behaviors. In therapy, we get to know these parts, listen to their concerns, and help them feel safe. Over time, this reduces inner conflict and helps you feel more balanced and whole.
In short: Parts work helps you understand and heal the different “voices” inside you, so you can feel more grounded and connected to yourself.
How does EMDR fit with parts work?
EMDR and parts work complement each other beautifully. EMDR helps reprocess traumatic memories and loosen core negative beliefs, while parts work focuses on supporting your protectors and connecting with wounded parts. Together, they create a gentle yet powerful way to heal both the memories and the emotional burdens that come with them.
In short: EMDR clears the memories, and parts work helps your protectors and wounded parts feel safe and supported.
Can parts work and EMDR help with anxiety and depression?
Yes. Many people with anxiety or depression find these approaches especially effective. Parts work helps you build emotional regulation and understand the parts of you that carry fear or sadness, while EMDR helps process the memories and beliefs that fuel those feelings.
In short: Together, EMDR and parts work can reduce anxiety and depression by addressing the root causes, not just the symptoms.
How long does it take to see results with (IFS) parts work and EMDR?
Healing looks different for everyone. Some people notice shifts after just a few sessions, while others need more time depending on the depth of their trauma. The focus is always on moving at a pace that feels safe and sustainable.
In short: Many people notice relief within the first few months of consistent therapy, though the process is unique to each person.
Is a combination of parts work and EMDR right for me if I haven’t tried therapy before?
Yes. You don’t need any prior therapy experience to benefit from the combination of parts work (IFS) and EMDR. We always start by building safety, trust, and coping tools so you feel supported before exploring painful memories or emotions. Parts work helps you get to know your inner world in a compassionate way, while EMDR provides a structured process for reprocessing memories and beliefs that may be weighing you down. Together, they create a gentle yet powerful introduction to therapy.
In short: Even if you’re new to therapy, combining parts work and EMDR can give you a safe and supportive path to begin healing.
Do you offer IFS Parts work and EMDR online?
Yes. I provide IFS Parts work and EMDR in Texas, Washington, and Florida, helping adults heal anxiety, depression, people pleasing, relationship wounds, childhood and relationship trauma.
Are you ready to start your healing journey?